Have you ever struggled to get rid of negative thinking?
I have. In fact we all have. You know those doubts and fears and mild depressions that can overshadow us like a cloud. I’m not talking about major chemical depressions those are very different, but the mood swings and the feeling that no matter some days how hard you try, you have trouble shaking it off.
Well if you struggle with these thoughts often, then it is robbing you of confidence and if you don’t stop; this thief will rob you of opportunities and the joy of everyday life too.
Here are a few reasons why we struggle with these thoughts:
- Family problems
- Peer pressure
- Disappointing results
- Fear of failure, humiliation – or succeeding
- Low self esteem
- Lack of a clear vision for the future
I could go on! So let’s get way more positive immediately.
In order to stop the thief from stealing your peace and plans you have to understand how to get control of your thinking…
Which can be challenging when we have 65,000 thoughts a day!
How can we do it?
Get out of the storm
When you feel that your head is about to explode with ‘shoulds’, ‘musts’ and fears of “I must have my future all mapped out today”, get out! Literally get out and go for a walk in the fresh air, or go and do something practical. Most importantly don’t try and get control of the storm of thoughts running through your head. Let the storm pass by.
You can’t make a decision what to have for dinner tonight in this state let alone what to do to move through your greatest fears and move forward. Only when you fell calmer will you be in a better frame of thinking to look at it all.
Get clear on what the problem is
Begin to journal. Write it out, what’s bugging you? Why are you so afraid? What happened that hurt you so bad? What are you most worried about if you do this or that? What went wrong? Why didn’t you see it coming? What can you actually learn from this? What really needs to change even if it worked last time? What story are you making up as to why you can’t? What pattern are you repeating?
Get a Vision for the next 3 months 12 months and 10 years
Strangely now is then time to lift your eyes and look to the hills. Plot a way back from it all. Planning so far in advance can mentally lift you from your current state. You begin to get curious instead of fatalistic. Your frustration and impatience at the current situations are only temporary. You don’t have to have it all worked out you just have to begin plotting markers along the road.
Get into a routine
No matter how hard it seems to do, if you can maintain a routine while you move through your thinking patterns they will begin to lift sooner. It shifts your focus from the energy that is only self focused. Start practicing or writing or walking or doing a social media campaign for 15 mins. a day to start. Try and pick the same time. You will fight it I promise, but who is going to win here your dreams or the comfort zone?
Get out of the rut
We all fear breaking out of the box, but you only have one life and tomorrow is not a day of the week! On average apparently people watch around 6 hrs of TV a day! That’s a whole evening after work or daytime TV! If you want more for your singing, then you have to raise the bar and add another dimension. There are 2 choices, lower your expectations or raise your game. I suggest the latter!
Get better at talking
Both to yourself (stop that negative mouth telling you it’s OK for others but not for you) and to others. Say something positive to others. I’ve been challenged to write 3 points to be positive every day on Facebook (why don’t you join me). Scientists are now saying that if you keep thinking negative or positive thoughts your brain creates a neuro-pathway and it changes brain function. In other words you think your way to a better life or not.
Confidence is developed one step at a time. No one is confident beginning new things, but instead begin some new routines, habits and talk to get confident. If you would like my help to take this further then join me on The Confident Singer Program for more details.